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Friday, October 30, 2015

Proven Wrong in a Great Way

Today I was proven wrong, in a great way. Any mom of a child with special needs can tell you, the "grieving" doesn't totally go away, it just hits you at different times. (The grief over the loss of what you dreamed for your child). The room mom for Katie's "home room" class, (a typical kindergarten class that she goes to music and art with) called me for the Halloween party sign-up this week. I chatted with her and explained that I might not make it to the Halloween parade today because honestly, my daughter wouldn't probably even notice much of a difference if I was there. As soon as I said it to this mom who couldn't possibly understand, I felt that speechless sadness that sweeps over you. Last night, I felt God challenging me to make the extra effort to come today regardless if she would note my absence or not. I brought Cara and we waited with the hundreds of parents for a glimpse of our Katie. I warned Cara that she may not even wave at us in the chaos. As she passed us, she looked up right at us and broke into her beaming smile, signing "Mama!" "Cara!" Her assistant even let us join in the parade and she held my hand and Cara's. She giddily SKIPPED the rest of the parade, visibly thrilled that HER family had come. Cara kept telling her, "Oh, Katie, we're both SO PROUD OF YOU! You're the BEST Snow White ever!". I cried on the way home. Thank you, Lord, for proving me wrong. ‪#‎cryingagain‬

Thursday, October 8, 2015

Not just a learner...

You have to hear this quote from today...first: How did our first "Moms of Treasures" group go today? Wow. What a blessing to me. I've been trying to find the words. There's ten of us (a couple couldn't make it today), all moms of children with various types of special needs, all so thankful to have a place to share our hearts. I shouldn't have bothered wearing eye makeup. ;) I asked our "mentor mom" if I could share this here, I know so many of you SN moms would blessed to hear this story. So our mentor mom told us that one night decades ago, her son was really struggling in school, and she was crying herself to sleep about it, grieving. With her permission, I'd like to share what she said today about that night. She said, "I was crying out to God that night, weeping, asking Him, 'WHY, Lord? It's not fair, why is it so hard for my son to learn?' She said she had a moment where she felt Him impress very clearly to her heart, 'because he wasn't put on this earth to be just a learner but a TEACHER.' "
Oh friend, we all, ALL agreed, each of our treasures are such teachers to us. I have learned more from Katie than I could have been taught for years in a classroom. She's been one of, and will continue to be forever, one of the best and most precious teachers of my life.
And I almost missed it. What a treasure.

Leaving my safe harbor...

There are God-moments everywhere, if you just look for them. I almost missed a BIG one today. I was frantically rushing through the grocery store getting brownie ingredients and tea assortments for this afternoon's Moms of Treasures tea. (I'm starting a support group for local moms of special needs children). I passed a mother with a grown son in a wheelchair and I had that anxious internal conversation with God. I knew he wanted me to go up to her and talk to her about our group today but when you have a child with special needs, you know how threatening it is when someone approaches you and mentions their special needs. I argued with God for awhile and made it to the dairy aisle before I realized that it was worth the risk. I approached her, introduced myself, and told her about our group. She and I both got teary eyes she recounted that she had just moved to this area and was really looking for a church where her son might be able to fit in. We had a wonderful conversation about the ways that both of our children are a precious blessing to us, I loved meeting her sweet son, and they will be coming to our next meeting in a couple weeks. Thank you God, for pushing me to leave my safe harbor time and time and time again.