Just hold her

Maybe I'll get used to hearing it one day and maybe one day I'll hear it from her so often, I'll take it for granted... but not today. As I was laying in bed, I heard a tiny, unsure voice call through the dark, "Ma-ma?!! Maaaama?" I rolled Katie over, and she wrapped her little arms around my neck, and I literally wept hot tears all over her face- poor child. Yup, Mama is here. I feel quite inadequate some days, I feel scared others, but I AM here. The Lord reminded me, you can't solve every hurt or issue, Jamie, but you CAN hold her.





(from March 19th)

March 9th... 5 years since that life-changing day

It's March 9th. It's been FIVE YEARS since that life- changing day. March 9th changed at least six people's lives forever. Mine, Doug's, Cara's, Katie's, and Katie's birthmom and birthdad. It was the day one or both of her birth parents made a very radical and very final decision to wrap her in a blanket with a bag of formula pinned to it and a bottle and place our precious, tiny bundle, at 2 months old, outside the gates of a busy village in the outskirts of Handan City, China. They knew someone would discover her- two people did and called the police. Her birth parents didn't know what her future would hold but they at least had come to the decision that they couldn't take care of her. I was COMPLETELY oblivious that day that she even existed 7,000 miles away. I was at work as a nanny and in the most challenging season of infertility, (but only days from conceiving Cara, unbeknownst to me) but God saw the whole story as it unfolded. I know Katie's birth parents think of her today. I certainly have thought of them and prayed for them all day. I wish they knew Kate now. She's joyfully splashing in the bath and had just signed a new sentence to me, "Mama, I want a bath in the water please." I WISH they knew what a gift she was to us--Thank you. Adoption is a beautiful love story that is born out of deep pain. I mourn their pain today. ‪#‎adoptionadvocacy

Katie's favorite recipes

My Chinese specialty for my sweet Chinese babygirl, it takes only 20 minutes: "Ginger- Anise Katie Soup" Two servings: simmer 2 1/2 cups chicken stock with 1/2 cup water. Add 1 tsp. each onion powder and garlic powder, 3 TBSP. gf soy sauce, 1 star anise, 1/2 TBSP. ground ginger, simmer 8 minutes, add 1/2 cup each: white beans, raw, cut broccoli, and frozen, fully cooked grilled chicken strips. Simmer on medium 7 minutes, add chopped scallion, and 1/4 cup sweet and sour sauce, simmer for 5 more minutes. DONE! Yum! #glutenfree #chinese She's signing MAMA, bc she knows who loves her! wink emoticon

Edit: we also sometimes use very thinly sliced carrots in lieu of the broccoli. 

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Finally created a salad Kate will eat. Asian Grilled Chicken & Strawberry salad::: dressing (for 2 salads): 5 TBSP. EVOO, 3 TBSP. rice vinegar, 1/2 tsp. garlic powder, 1/2 tsp. ground ginger, 1 TBSP. sweet & sour sauce, dash pepper, dash Lawry's seasoning salt, and dash kosher salt. Whisk well, pour over sliced grilled chicken, sliced strawberries, sliced mini sweet peppers, minced purple onions, mixed greens, and (optional: sliced almonds). Mama, Dada, and Kate love it. One day maybe Cara too! #glutenfree

Psalm 139

Pictures of both of my babies at two years old. Pondering this Truth today. It's amazing just how many people have a hard time accepting this for themselves, or others, or a child with special needs. Both my girls were "knit together" in their mother's womb, and are wonderfully made by their Creator, whether or not the world sees them that way, or even when they doubt it themselves. God doesn't make mistakes. Each child is special and miraculous and worthy. Lord, thank you for being in the big picture and in the details. Your works ARE wonderful, I know that full well.

(From my FB, Feb 17)

Spatial Thinker!

(from my FB, February 9th)

For. REAL. I don't even know if I could have thought this one up myself! #magnaformerCHAMP

She's an INCREDIBLE spatial thinker!

You're Super Too

(From my FB, January 30)

So as the school van door is closing today, one of Katie's schoolmates signs, "Wait! I have a gift for Katie!" Beaming with joy, she hands me this sticker from her own coat. I might have cried.#youresupertoo

5th Birthday Post (from Dec 31)

(posted on my Facebook on December 31, her bday in China: January 1st):

Our birthday princess is ready for her family party. Daddy's making Chinese stir-fried noodles & Mommy's making a fruit salad "cake" and Cara is belting out celebratory songs and dances, declaring all our love for Kate. Oh, Handan, how we LOVE YOU!!!! I've already cried all day about what a GIFT you are. To Katie's birth mom, I KNOW you think of her on her birthday and it must be a very painful day for you. I know you wish you could have that warm, tiny bundle back in your arms. I know you wonder about her, probably every single day, and I want to tell you, THANK YOU. She is SUCH a precious, priceless, gift. I wish you were able to know her like we do. There are no words to adequately express how much it means to us that you chose life for her and you gave the ultimate sacrifice to give her a future. We love you too. #birthdaytears